On Credulity and Education Gaps

Kids are always entertaining.  But sometimes their entertaining notions and curiosities result in a facepalm.

Three cases in point:

1) My oldest told me two hours ago that she would be home in an hour.  That means she would have been home an hour ago.  Instead, she just walked in.  One hour late.

My Facebook status read: "'I'll be home in an hour' + 1 hour late = grounding."  I used that to break the bad news to her.  Her reply?

"I'm grounded?!"

"You're an hour late."

She rationalized with, and this is the best part, "Well, I was gonna leave at the right time!"

2) My second oldest keeps warning us about the dangers of the upcoming "Zombie Apocalypse."  I've heard this many times before, since it has pretty much reached meme status.  So we laugh.

But then she tells us that we need to start preparing now.  And suddenly, we think she's not joking anymore.  So, we stare.  And we wait for the punchline.  But it never comes.

Must be beddy-time!

3) The youngest (almost 14 years old) just asked me, "When you eat something, and it travels all the way through your digestive system, does it come out as pee or poo?"  I'm not making this up!

My first reaction is to call the middle school and ask to speak to the science teacher who must've forgotten to mention this little detail of human physiology.  But then, it occurs to me that it wasn't the middle school--kids learn that stuff in 3rd grade or earlier.  Hmmm.

Poop is leftover food that your body doesn't want.  Pee is the stuff that your kidneys think should be taken out of your blood.  I'm calling the elementary school tomorrow.

Shoot.  They're closed tomorrow.  Anyway, I think with a gap like that, it's time to make sure that "The Talk" happens soon.  You know, the one where I have to explain the delicate and embarrassing process that separates farts from burps.  Her mom can have the "other Talk."